Fake LinkedIn ‘Influencers’

Ever felt like hitting someone with an RKO outta nowhere ? An RKO so brutal it will rip their fucking head off. You can feel the tendons tearing and the bones crack. Spaghettification like you were standing at the event horizon of a black hole. Oh Snap ! What to do now ? They’re spewing blood like snow spray on your 15th birthday.

Okay ! That was dark.

As i’m writing this i’m seeing 2 mice chase each other around like there’s no tomorrow. Maybe they tryna bang. Oh yeah ! definitely. Keep at it Stuart Little.

That’s how i feel when i hear the word ‘LinkedIn Influencers’. Not the mice ! The RKO bit. According to my third eye of truth these are people who have decoded the meaning of life and are just standing a door away from enlightenment. They have spent their major linkedin carriers seeking outside validation and posting ridiculously self centred content on how they helped 100 people in the last 1 month. Remember those ?

And you can do it too if you set your mind to it and believe in yourself .

This ‘Linkedin Influencers’ epidemic is kinda the same as the corona virus itself. The only difference is with corona at least you die. And then they have the balls to charge money for this shit you can easily learn from google for free. You know why you pay for these stupid ‘SELF MASTERY’ courses ?

Because you’re insecure.

You’re insecure about yourself and you’re insecure about your skills. So you think this 4 day program can somehow turn your life around. And you’ll start getting more leads and better conversions, but that doesn’t happen, does it ? How can you be so fucking gullible. Once you take that course you’re hooked. Like a fiend going back for more. But guess what ? They just hiked up the price. What will you do now ?

I see ‘Influencers’ that have ‘Passion coach’ in their taglines. What the fuck does that even mean ?

So after talking to me for 5 mins. you’re gonna give me advice on what i’m supposed to do for the rest of my life. Cool ! Where were you all my life. I wouldn’t have been this miserable piece of shit if i met you earlier.

People building a blind following with the help of fake testimonials is nothing new. We’ve seen influencers do it before many times. And when they get caught their carrier is fucked. But not on Linkedin. Nope !

Its a fuckin bandwagon effect going on Linkedin right now. I gotta like this Influencer’s post because everyone else is. And even though i don’t understand shit, i still have to because it makes me look cooler.

These Influencers mainly prey on young and naive audience who just joined linkedin and who doesn’t know a whole lot about sales and marketing. Their close connections always there to ‘Sucka la mink’ even if they don’t know what the program is even about. Little kids who just graduated or are close to graduating start to treat them like a God in hopes of maybe landing a job or an internship.

After a time it doesn’t even matter what they post. They could even post Fuck you ! and these dumbass old poeple and naive youngens would applaud like how courageous this person is to express his opinion on a pseudo-professional platform.

I don’t know if you’ll read this blog or not, or after reading will you make some changes in the Linkedin profiles you follow and the daily negative content or should i say ‘Toxic positive’ content you consume. Frankly speaking i don’t give a frenchman’s fuck.

You got your own life. I got mine. There’s only so much i can do for you.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *